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Katerina: Why am I here?

Deputy Lloyd: Ur, I have no idea, ma'am, you were the one who initiated this interview.

Katerina: I'm pretty sure you know the reason, though.

Deputy Lloyd: Oh right, review purposes!

Katerina: Good boy. Even though I'd have preferred Sheriff Leo Hudson, I keep picturing him as Chris Hemsworth in Thor, is it true that the resemblance is uncanny? Because if it is I wouldn't say no to a trip to Valhalla with him-

Deputy Lloyd: He's not available right now.

But he does look like Thor.

Katerina: Is it true that his muscles are like tree trunks and his eyes the brightest blue of the sky and that-

Deputy Lloyd: Ma'am, I believe you've been carried away.

*A moment of hesitation*

Deputy Lloyd: But it is true.

Katerina: Why are the good ones always taken?

Deputy Lloyd: ...

Katerina: Anyway, how shall we proceed?

Deputy Lloyd: Um, I suppose I could ask you some questions?

Katerina: Shoot me!

*Awkward silence*

Katerina: You're not very good at this, are you?

Deputy Lloyd: I beg your pardon? I conducted a murder investigation for Heaven's sake! Do you know that our Mayor was killed, and I had to interview a city full of crazy a$$holes who never mind their own business AND a freaking dog?

Katerina: Language, Officer!

Deputy Lloyd: Sorry ma'am.

*Another awkward silence*

Deputy Lloyd: So, let's start from the basics. Why did you read Jed Had to Die?

Katerina: Well, some friends on Goodreads and the friends of those friends and then some random strangers raved about this book, and I was in the mood for a rom-com featuring a murder, so...

Deputy Lloyd: From the smile on your face I take you enjoyed it?

Katerina: Wow you're realy observant, Officer! Of course I did, It was fantabulous!

Deputy Lloyd: Ma'am, please don't-

Katerina: Awemusing!

Deputy Lloyd: Ma'am-

Katerina: Smeeeexy!

Deputy Lloyd: You haven't tried homemade moonshine, have you?

Katerina: Nah, just five cups of Liquid Crack!

Deputy Lloyd: So you're a coffee addict, like our Payton?

Katerina: Oh yes, that's why I loved her, besides her sarcasm and her inability to keep her mouth shut and her bad decisions. She understands coffee's sacrosanct nature and healing abilities and-

Deputy Lloyd: Alright, alright, got it! What else did you like about Jed Had to Die?

Katerina: The homey athmosphere! I felt like I was watching Hart of Dixie and, to be honest, Bald Knob reminded me of my hometown with its gossip and meddling!

Deputy Lloyd: Wow, your town actually competes Bald Knob regarding the gossip and the meddling?

Katerina: Yup! Once upon a time someone spread the rumor that my momma was dead and people called to offer their condolences!

Deputy Lloyd: Are you serious?

Katerina: Like a heart attack.

*Third awkward silence*

Deputy Lloyd: Um, do you think Jed really had to die?

Katerina: Duh-uh, he deserved everything that happened to him, that twisted bastard!

Deputy Lloyd: Ma'am, you do realise that if the book wasn't finished you'd be a suspect for the murder of Jed Jackson, correct?

Katerina: But I'm not, and we all know that the person who did it was-

Deputy Lloyd: No spoilers, ma'am!

Katerina: Sorry, Officer.

*Shuffling papers*

Deputy Lloyd: Did you enjoy the romance?

Katerina: Oh yeah, I loved every minute of it! Leo was such a caveman and a darling at the same time, and the fact that he had those feelings for Payton all those years made me all mushy and cry-baby! They were adorable and VERY hot, if you know what I mean...

Deputy Lloyd: I'm so glad we're talking about my boss's sex life like some pervs. What about the rest of the characters?

Katerina: The female friendships were wonderful, their banters had me cackling like a hen! And I must admit, Officer, your interviews were what made my day!

Deputy Lloyd: At least someone took pleasure in my misery.

Katerina: Oh stop being a drama-queen! You enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, EVERYONE enjoyed it!

Jed Had to Die was definitely a feel-good novel, ideal for a beach read or a midnight read or an I-want-to-have-fun read!

Deputy Lloyd: On behalf of the town of Bald Knob, I'd like to thank you for your kind words. Please, do visit us again!

Katerina: No no no don't leave me yet, I don't want to go back to stupid reality, please-

*Door closes*

Katerina: Darn it!