Rating: 2/5 stars
Genre: New Adult, Paranormal, Romance, Dystopia
Katerina's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse
(or Pestilence and All His Friends)
➸ DO not, I repeat do not, let mind-blowingly beautiful covers seduce you. This is the first step towards your doom.
➸ IF you were weak like me and gave in to the temptress called Cover, you must be prepared to shut your moral compass. That is necessary if you do not wish to spend your entire reading experience hearing the voices in your head screaming error.404.this.is.not.right.
➸ ACCEPT that you WILL NOT dive into a dark, paranormal, heart-pounding adventure. That your eyes will feast on apocalypse smut, that the world will literally burn but the heroine will be busy gawking at the sculpted abs of the human incubator of plague and judging the people who try to kill him in order to save their families and, you know, MANKIND.
➸ TRY not to cringe every time Sara calls Pestilence well, Pestilence, even in their, ehem, intimate moments. (wait, scratch that, it cannot be implemented)
➸ SIT back and try to enjoy the ride.
This is wrong on so many levels.
If you follow my reviews, you must have known by now that I don't do 2 stars. I've always stood for the idea that authors expose themselves when they publish a book, because willingly or not they pour a part of their souls into their works, so 3 stars has been my lowest rating, out of (maybe misguided, maybe not) respect. But this time, I couldn't help myself. It's not because Laura Thalassa is a bad writer; on the contrary, I enjoyed her prose in general, and liked the sarcasm that laced her narration, so this is by no means an attack to her talent, or the author herself. I also know, taking into consideration the average rating of this book, that I express a highly unpopular opinion, without intending to offend all those readers that enjoyed Pestilence. The truth is, I envy them. The blame for not liking Pestilence is all mine, since I knew it was about the unlikely romance between a human and the first of the Four Horsemen, thus being aware that the line between right and wrong would be blurry. But guys, the way the main heroine, Sara, perceives things is all messed up.
Let me give you an example: the last time Sara (who was taken captive by Pestilence) and Pestilence entered a big city, riding his undead stallion, the citizens had set up an ambush, resulting to Pestilence being gravely injured (note that he cannot be killed). So, the next time they approach a big city, Sara wants to get off the main road, because:
a) she wants to spare the people that didn't evacuate from a horrible, painful death
b) she's afraid she might be killed in the ambush
c) she doesn't want undying Pestilence to get hurt
And yes, Sara goes for option c). I suspect she wanted them to throw Pestilence a welcome party as a thank you for, you know, exterminating human race.
Don't get me wrong, along the way they encountered some really nasty people who committed atrocities against them, and I do not condone that. However, Sara was present when children and sweet elderly people died because of Pestilence, when children lost mothers to plague and parents lost their children when Pestilence commandeered their homes in order for Sara to eat their food (!) and rest (!), something Sara gradually came to accept. I am sorry, but this is beyond disturbing.
One could say that the whole point of this book is to show that Pestilence came to understand humanity and found compassion through the power of luuve, to depict Sara's inner battle etc. I beg to differ. I don't blame Pestilence for his nature (even though, to be honest, he was able to spare people but he did so only for the hot chick he encountered), I blame Sara for her tolerance. Pestilence tortured her, abused her, made her suffer again and again, and she stood by his side when he spread death and mourning, getting angry at the people who tried to stop him.
Sadly, this f!cked up relationship was not my only issue. The entire book consists of the same routine: Pestilence and Sara travel on horseback, they find some poor fellow's house to rest, and once in a while they encounter desperate people trying to stop them. It eventually got really tedious, it felt like I witnessed the same events again and again.
To sum up, Pestilence was not the book for me.